Real Housewives Of Miami recap: Booby Trapped

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This week’s episode opens with Adriana and Lea finishing up their talk. Adriana tells Lea that all her financial assistance she offered her over their 6 year friendship wasn’t appreciated  or needed. Then she storms out yelling that she’s sorry that she wasn’t good enough to be her friend. Lea follows her with an umbrella because it’s pouring outside and Adrian was soaking wet trying to call a cab. Adriana refuses to go in because she doesn’t want Lea to claim that she helped her with anything else. Lea tells her that it doesn’t matter what she says because Adriana will just twist it around on her. Adrian tells Lea that she turned on her for not backing her up when Ana attacked her at the reunion last season. Then she apologizes and says she regrets it because Ana said some awful things about Lea. Lea said all she wants to do was be Adriana’s friends and she was a loyal one. Adriana tells her that she shouldn’t have talked behind her back calling her a charity case and grifter. Adriana also reveals she’s upset about Lea’s new friendship with Joanna. Adriana says she has a little dignity and ends up leaving by taking off on foot down the street and meets her cab shortly after.

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It’s raining, it’s pouring this episode is boring!

Romain and Joanna are attending a tennis match together. Romain apparently loves tennis and knows a lot about the sport. Joanna does not, but she went anyway. They have primo seats! Their discussion goes to sex. Romain and Joanna hardly do it and it’s driving Joanna insane. Romain tells her that if she would spice it up and quit being so boring in bed then he would be interested in sleeping with her again. ouch!

Tennis makes me love you.

Tennis makes me love you.

Adriana and Frederic are discussion Lea and her sit down. Adriana summarizes what happened and her details are off. She says that Lea never gave her any money and her son’s private school let her slide on the months of tuition that she couldn’t pay. Ya, because that happens never! They story is that Adriana was 3 months behind on tuition and Lea paid the $300,000 dollars to the school so she could be current and not get booted from the school. Frederic obviously believes every word that comes out of Adriana’s mouth and gets pissed. He says they don’t need anything from the little Lea Black and claims he’s going to text her and warn her to watch out for him. Ooh, frightening! Then Adrianna starts crying because Lea told her that Adriana begged her to help her. Why else would Lea buy 14 paintings from Adriana? of course Adriana begged her! Delusional much?

I am this much pissed!

I am this much pissed!

Alexia is making her son Frankie a sandwich and her other son Peter walks in. Apparently Frankie is really into music; so Alexia had a studio built for him in her home. Frankie is recovering from his nearly fatal car accident very well so Alexia wants to assist by giving him the luxury to run with his creativity and passion of music in the comfort of his own home. Peter lives there too and has no job. He just wakes up at noon then plays in the studio with Frankie all day and night. Alexia says she’s fine with it because her sons are doing something together. Frankie recorded and rap song and Alexia says she may not agree with the lyrics, but she’s happy as long as her sons are hanging together. Peter is horrible at rapping. I hope he has a plan B.

Don't worry, I only punch homeless people.

Don’t worry, I only punch homeless people.

Lisa is calling all the girls for a girl’s night because Lenny is in Vegas for a bachelor party. The girls agree only because Lisa tricked them and invited everyone, but didn’t tell Lea and Joanna that she’s also inviting Adriana, Marysol and Alexia. If all the girls knew that the ones they hated were invited then they wouldn’t go out so she left that part as a surprise. Lisa is acting as peace maker since she gets along with everyone and she’s trying to get everyone together to talk so they can all be friends again. Now her and Lenny are getting ready for bed. He needs to go to sleep because he has surgery all day and Lisa just wants to talk with him or possibly have sex. Apparently they aren’t doing it anymore either.  Poor Lenny just wants to get some sleep. She’s not going to allow that to happen. Lisa has him turn the lights on so they can talk babies. Lenny had the suggestion that they try a surrogate. Lisa is refusing because she wants to carry the baby herself so she can have that strong bond. Lisa fears that there’s something wrong with her. I say she’s too skinny, but I am not a doctor like Lenny; so what do I know?

I'm not having sex with our farting dog watching us!

I’m not having sex with our farting dog watching us!

Alexia’s mother is visiting from Spain. She’s a retired psychologist. Alexia is discussing her issues about the mistakes that Peter has done. He seems to be lost. After Frankie’s accident, he started getting tattoos and punching sleeping homeless people. everyone has their own way of coping in a crisis, I guess. Then Alexia tells the story of her sons’ father. He has been in jail for years for drug trafficking. Alexia says Peter is a lot like his dad. Alexia’s mother totally changes the subject and tells her that she should’ve married the Prince of Spain instead of Herman. Alexia’s mom knows people and is upset Alexia didnt’ take her up on her offer to meet the prince because she wanted Alexia to be the princess. She’s a barbie, hello!

Marysol and Adriana are meeting on Adriana’s deck and having champagne. Adriana tells Marysol about her fight with Lea and Marysol shares how her mom is doing post accident. Apparently mama Elsa is doing better since her fall 2 weeks ago. Marysol gives Adriana mama Elsa’s lace shawl to wear on her wedding day. That’s very special.

Lea bought the champagne and my house! Cheers

Lea bought the champagne and my house! Cheers

Alexia wants to meet Lea to discuss the rumors that Alexia heard that Lea was spreading about her son, Peter. Lea denies it and blames me because I’m the one that said that stuff about Peter. lol, kidding, but I did think it. Then they discuss Lea and Adriana’s fight. Lea gives a completely different story than what Adriana gave Alexia. Of course.. shall we believe the grifter or Lea? hmmmm

What was that? It wasn't me gossipping.. I know that!

What was that? It wasn’t me gossiping.. I know that!

It’s girl’s night now and Lea and Joanna ride with Lisa in her Rolls Royce. Shortly after Alexia, Marysol and Adriana arrive. Lea is pissed and she leaves. In the time that Lea has to wait on her driver; Lisa talks to Marysol and Adriana about burying the hatchet with Lea. Didn’t Marysol cheat Lea’s charity out of money and Adriana conned Lea for years? I thought so… Joanna and Lisa meet Lea outside and tell her that they know Adriana isn’t being truthful, but Lisa wants them to make up with her anyway. Joanna shows Lisa Adriana’s marriage certificate that proves Lea was right about Adriana being married for years. Lisa thinks it’s probably a fake document. No, the courthouse doesn’t get down like that, Lisa! Lisa isn’t hearing it. She says she believes what her friends tell her. Lea says she was also fixing Adriana up with men all these years because she was under the impression that Adrian was single. Next week is a big pow wow between Frederic and Lea or is it Romain? You’ll have to stay tuned to find out! Thanks for reading!

I hate you! What? but it's girl's night...

I hate you! What? but it’s girl’s night…

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