Real Housewives of Orange County Recap – Hawaii 5 Uh Oh! #RHOC

Real Housewives of Orange County premiered last night. Gretchen and Alexis are off the show. Thank you sweet, baby Jesus! There are 2 new cast members, Shannon Beador and Lizzie Rovsek. I’m not quite sure about Lizzie yet, but Shannon seems like she has the nut house on lock. She has no wifi in her home because she fears brain damage; which is also why her kids aren’t allowed to have cell phones. Heather and Terry are in the process of building a new home. ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 She’s also filming in Hawaii for the show Hawaii Five-O.  I thought Heather was a self righteous bitch last season, but this season she’s a mega bitch. Tamra and Vicki meet Heather in Hawaii for a girl’s trip and Heather is being a know it all about everything. She’s being a huge snot bubble. She’s lecturing the ladies about proper wine temps and such. Like who gives a Malibu Country? Just drink it and shut it! Tamra and Eddie work together at their new gym, CUT Fitness. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Vicki recaps us on how awful the last year of her life was being in limbo land with Brooks. I think he’s gone now. I hope he gets lost wherever he is and never finds his way back to my tv. Briana’s expecting a baby. I really like her, but am on the fence about Ryan. Due to couch gate from last season when he went all egg roll on Lydia’s mom at not his house. Apparently Briana and Ryan will be relocating to Oklahoma soon because Ryan is now stationed there. Ok, so now Heather is touring new girl, Shannon’s home because her builder did Shannon’s home and Heather needs ideas. I think Heather tries really hard not to come off bitchy, but as Joyce from RHoBH told Brandi, “She just can’t help it. It’s coming out of her pores.” Shannon is really green. No, not green with envy. Environmentally green like to the max! Aaaaand Shannon’s story line has reared it’s head. She’s the green queen. Oh joy, we needed one, right? She’s kind of a bitch to her husband though. He’s in the kitchen having a snack and she lectures him like he’s one of her kids that he’s not supposed to eat before dinner. Then she barks at him for setting the table wrong. Poor guy! I think Shannon should get a job. Maybe she could sort plastic, glass and paper items at the recycling center. I bet that would be heaven for her.

I recently happened upon the news that Shannon has her house on the market. It’s over 13,000 sqft and is listed at $13.5 mil if anyone’s interested. It is lovely… kind of makes me wonder why they’re selling it though. Stay tuned, I guess.

Back to Heather being bitchy and show off-y. She’s obviously has no plans to have fun while on her Hawaiian vaca with Vicki and Tamra. She won’t surf because she’s not an ocean person. She won’t dance on the table because she has a stick up her ass. She won’t drink wine at an incorrect temperature because … you see where this is going. Then she asked the surf instructor if he’s “on the pot” wtf does that mean? Like on the toilet? No, she means does he smoke pot. Who says that?

Oh good Shannon’s holistic too! Ugh… she’s at Dr. Moon’s, her Energy Medicine Specialist getting her groove back, I think? I don’t know… more Zzzzzzz

Did I miss new cast member Lizzie on this episode? Must have! Well here she is:

She looks, nice. Until next week! Let me know in comments what you thought about the OC premiere.

Or tweet me! @StopDropGossip

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