Real Housewives of Orange County – RECAP “Fakes-Giving, Fake Friends” #RHOC

This week’s episode picks up at Shannon’s dinner party. Everyone is making their way to the dining room. Shannon tells them that she didn’t know what they wanted to eat, she has a lot of fattening foods, but they never eat; so… I guess she’s nervous? Terry is loving the meal and asks Shannon how many times a week she cooks. She says never because her husband does all the cooking. So let me get this straight; Shannon’s husband operates a multi-million dollar company AND cooks? What does Shannon do? She mentions that she really wants to work with her husband. He refuses to allow it and now I understand why Shannon calls him out left and right. They’re like Adrienne and Paul from RHOBH part deux; only Adrienne works and they’re no longer married. Everyone seems really pissy with each other. Vicki and Heather hate one another.

Tamra just called Terry a prick because he drove a Porsche when he and Heather were dating. The guys are so over the conversation and decide to head over to David’s in house gym. Their house is way cooler than fancy pants’! Vicki’s talking head says that Heather is all stuffy and Shannon is the fun bus. Ok, cut to the guys playing basketball on the Beador indoor court. Doesn’t everyone have one?

Now the ladies are joining in on the game. Well, except crabby pants. She proceeds to tell Terry that he’s old and to try and not pull anything. Bitches, hide your bangs!

Tamra says in her talking head that she wants Heather to burp and fart. I think Tamra should really consider going to cotillion with Shannon’s daughters. She just might finally learn how to act. What is Shannon giving Tamra; some sex enhancement pills for his pleasure? Heather is being a bitch on fancy wheels! She reminds Tamra that she can’t get pregnant because she had her tubes tied. I think fancy pants should mind her bee’s wax. Whoops, I spoke too soon! Now Heather is telling Eddie that Tamra wants a baby and he’s so not on board. Still, it’s not Heather’s place to drop that bomb on Eddie. Wtf is Vicki wearing, by the way? She looks like the Koolaid man.

The ladies are in the hidden, tea party room. It’s hella cute! I don’t have any daughters; so I would make that my super secret drinking room. Wait, that sounds bad. Oh well, fuck it! The Dubrows cut out of the party because it’s 11:00. Eddie tells Tamra about the baby convo that Heather had with him. He’s pissed that Tamra shared that information with her because it’s their business. I’m with Eddie on that one.

Ok, Shannon’s drunk. I think I like her now. As long as she doesn’t talk about crystals, energy healers, feng shui… she’s fine by me. Tamra is at Vicki’s house and they’re talking about David and Shannon’s “bad relationship”. Oh great, now they’re talking about Brooks again. Isn’t she dating a new guy now? Now they’ve moved on to know it all fancy pants. Tamra wants to confront Heather, but Vicki advises her against it; saying you can’t win with her. I like David. I don’t care what his wife says ! Wth is Shannon bitching about now? Holy holistic me oh my!

Awe, now Vicki is visiting Briana and lil’ Troy. He looks just like his daddy! He’s very adorable and seems like such a great baby. Briana lets Vicki know that she’s tired of playing second fiddle to Brooks. I’m officially over this. Zzzzzzzz

Wait, an Environmental Consultant? Oh fuck me running! Shannon is so one flew over the cuckoo’s nest. What, they don’t like Thanksgiving? What’s wrong with people? I blame my winter weight on T Day; so I’d say we have a fabulous relationship, LOL! Why is Vicki hosting a dinner party the same weekend that she is keeping her grandson? Vicki is complaining about Heather and Shannon doesn’t like it. She wants to know why they can’t just hold hands and sing Kumbaya. Not really, but probably. Vicki’s son is such a dick. I know I said that last week, but it’s true. What crawled up his ass? Can Shannon stop with the dry sense of humor bit that she keeps hurling at her husband? She also has very bright teeth. I really don’t get everyone running to the dentist for over the top teeth bleaching. What’s that about? Mine aren’t yellow or anything, but they certainly don’t glow in the dark either.

Tamra calls Heather for lunch. Heather’s picking up on the fact that the other ladies basically hate her. Tamra assures her that it’s not true, but accuses Heather of treating them like they’re beneath her. Heather doesn’t agree and I don’t know what happened to me, but I’m siding with Heather on this one. Even though her face scares the living crap out of me. I’m over the Are You My Friend story line. That’s been done about as often as the Kid Going Off to College story line.

Who’s this Danielle chick? She’s having an ugly sweater, charity party. Should be fun!

Still no word on the new girl, Lizzie. Maybe next week. See you then!

Hit us up @StopDropGossip or drop us a line in comments.

Thanks for reading!

Photo credit:

Bravo, radaronline, Celebuzz and wifeline

 

 

 

 

 

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