Real Housewives of Orange County RECAP: “Pretty Ugly” #RHOC

Shannon opens this week’s episode by spending some time with her daughter Stella, in the kitchen. David comes in to let Shannon know that he’s taking her on an exciting one night excursion to St. Regis. Shannon says in her talking head that the St. Regis is 20 minutes from their home, but she’ll take it because they have never been away together since they were married 13 years ago. This should go well.

Mommy’s going for a ride in the car? Yippee!

Vicki is working late when her decorator pops in with design swatches. She’s doing a refresh on her office because she’s living alone and decided to spend more time at the office. Why not make it pretty? That’s better than a face lift, oh wait. She already had one. A co-worker of Vicki’s rats out another employee for often sleeping on the job. Then she complains to Vicki that the leather wall treatment in the reception area stinks.

Shannon and David have arrived at the St. Regis hotel. David is being a bit cheesy, but that’s what you do while on a couples get a way; so carry on. Tamra and Eddie are getting ready for an ugly sweater charity event. They are cracking me up with these festive sweaters! Oh brother, now Heather is bitching. Right on time! I think that Terry secretly thinks his wife is a meanie bellini. I know I do! Well, maybe not secretly.

Look, I was an actor on Malibu Country and I use big words!

I want an agave Maria! Oh by the way, Happy Cinco de Mayo! Ole!

David and Shannon are drinking bloody Mary’s while she complains. She’s going on and on over some bullshit! Now I understand why her husband never takes her anywhere. New girl Lizzie is in the hizzie, finally! It’s great to have her introduced into the cast. Ooh, pass the signature drink over here! I won’t fall on my face like Lizzie did either, promise!

Ok, so Tamra and Eddie recognize Lizzie because she took one of Eddie’s workout classes at CUT fitness when her boobs were all kinds of on display. Lizzie’s pretty. Tamra tells her that she will be her friend. Barf

Heather and Terry have matchy tacky sweaters. I die! All the husbands really love Lizzie. I wonder why?

I’m pretty, smart and gosh darn it, people like me!

Oh fuck, it’s Brooks… next!

Whoa, why doesn’t anyone like Brooks? I like Brooks.

Shannon and David are at dinner. Let’s see how long until Shannon starts bitching again. Oh damn, I didn’t even get finished typing that before she busted in on her bitch train. She’s even complaining in her talking head. Great, now she’s crying…Zzzzzzzz This dinner sucks! Poor David

Back to the sweater party. Heather is talking to Lizzie and Lizzie’s wasted. That’s the best way to deal with Heather anyway. Lizzie’s smart! She’s also pretty and a smartass, but she’s nice about it; so that means she’s sneaky too. Shannon and David are back from dinner and David had their room all honeymooned out. Barf! I’m sorry, but I hate cheesy crap. Have those two ever had sex before? They’re very awkward about it and Shannon announces to the world that she wishes that she was drunker. Yikes! I’ll say it again, poor David!

Babe, if you get a boob job then I’ll start listening to you when you speak.

Lizzie is preparing for a photo shoot for her swim line, Sun Kitten. I’m loving her swim suit line! Time to shop! Tamra and Eddie are going to dinner and he’s not wearing his wedding band. Didn’t they just get married? Not good. Tamra takes this opportunity to hit Eddie up for a baby. He tells her that he doesn’t have time for that.

Hey, at least he’s honest! I swear they have a fake relationship because they’re just too weird and phony.

Have a baby, don’t have a baby… wait, I think I already have some kids.

On the next RHOC: Vicki learns that feng shui isn’t just for Asians and she gets in a fight with new girl, Lizzie. Bring it on! It sounds like winner. Do you like Lizzie as much as I do? Drop us a line and let us know what you thought of tonight’s episode.

Photo credit: Bravotv

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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