Real Housewives of Orange County RECAP! “I Couldn’t Chair Less” #RHOC

RHOOC CAST

Vicki is meeting Shannon at her Energy Medicine Specialist to pay Dr. Moon $100 to teach them how to scream. I’m in the wrong business!

I wonder if Dr. Moon’s services are covered under Obamacare. Of course it is! I can’t with Dr. Moon’s mumbo jumbo anymore.

Heather’s planning a celebration for the groundbreaking of her new home. They might as well call it a “Dirt Party”. Why does Heather even have event planners? She always ends up poo pooing all their ideas. Then Heather comes up with having an onion ring bar. Hey, at least she’s cool with fried foods. I bet Shannon will have a heart attack when she sees this onion ring bar at Heather’s groundbreaking party. Not literally of course, but maybe. Quit crossing your fingers, Shannon’s husband.

Kidding!

Tamra and Vicki are having their nails done while they bitch about Heather. Shannon doesn’t like Heather either. Hell, I’m already sitting on the I hate Heather express; so what else is new? Now Vicki and Tamra are gossiping about Lizzie. Tamra compares Lizzie to Gretchen and Alexis. That’s an insult in my book.

Lizzie is making dinner for her family. She says that her husband loves her as an at home mom, but she loved it back when her husband used to take her on the counter top. You go, girl!

Cut to Shannon. She’s going on and on about Christmas, why she loves it and her $20,000 ornament collection. I love the Beador’s Christmas decorations; so her $20,000 was money well spent. David just walked into the room and Shannon’s already bitching at him. For the love of onion rings; give the guy a break!

Now we’re at CUT Fitness and Tamra is complaining to Eddie that she’s tired of hauling the gym’s towels to their house to wash them. What kind of rinky dink gym is this? Seems mom & pop. Anyway, in comes Ryan, Tamra’s oldest son. He works at CUT Fitness too. At least sometimes. I’m over this loser. It’s feng shui time at Vicki’s office. Shannon brought her feng shui expert to help balance and calm Vicki’s office. Good luck with that! Vicki claims she needs feng shui because Donn is trying to get spousal support from her. I thought their divorce was finalized a year ago. Moving on… the feng shui guru suggests adding a plant or possibly a lamp to Vicki’s office. My favorite quote of this episode was from Shannon, “Vicki’s son is looking at us like we are a little bit loco, but that’s a look I’ve seen many times so it’s ok!”  Touche, sister!

This is the only plant that will ever calm Vicki down.

All the ladies are in a limo headed to dinner. It’s quite clear that Vicki hates Lizzie and Lizzie don’t play. I heart Lizzie! Cue the pissing contest. I have Lizzie scored as the winner as Vicki’s just looking sad and pathetic at this point. Now they’re talking menopause. Zzzzzzzz

Finally the ladies make it to the restaurant and right out of the chute Vicki tells Heather to move. Then Heather moves to Shannon’s seat and Shannon tells her that was where she was going to sit. Heather launches into a bitch fit about it.

Shannon gets into it with Heather. Heather tries to convince Shannon that it’s all fine and no big deal. Heather thinks that Shannon’s reaction to chair gate is scary. Shannon orders a drink. Are they serious about this musical chairs bit? Who leaves their kids to come out and deal with this kind of nonsense? Not me! Lizzie and Tamra are bonding and we have 10 seconds until Vicki’s head explodes. Oh great, now Shannon and Heather are rich bitch one upping one another. Vicki asks Lizzie what her nationality is. I’m pretty sure that they’re all American, my dear. Tequila time, woo hoo! I really want Lizzie to kick Vicki in her love tank already.

Is that wrong? Vicki is vile.

oc

I feng shui’d my love tank!

 

Does the Danielle girl talk? Oh here’s Heather with her big words, Zzzzzzzz… I love that they switched seats while Danielle and Shannon were in the ladies room. LOL, shake it up!

On next’s weeks RHOC, another Mexico trip, Lizzie and Tamra become frienemies and Vicki chokes on her love tank.

What did you guys think of tonight’s episode? See you next week!

 

Photo credit: bravotv, quickmeme, desperatelyseekinggina, forum.grasscity

 

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