Hello my London lovelies! It’s time for another trip to Londontown! Last week we met the Duchess of Sandwich, Julie. Noelle and Scot were having issues while looking for a flat and Caprice got pissed at Caroline for some bs nothing crap.
This week we’re going to visit the Earl of Sandwich estate in Mapperton. Julie and Marissa are talking about their upcoming visit to Mapperton over yoga. They’re worried about Juliet possibly breaking the silly royal rules while they stay at the estate. Now we’re at Caroline’s fabulous house and some guy is helping her pack for Mapperton. Y’all know that I love Annabelle. She’s busy preparing for the trip to the Sandwich estate in Mapperton. She’s very excited because she used to spend time at that estate as a child and she loves it. Here comes Caprice with her pregnant self; talking like she’s the first person on earth to ever be pregnant. We’ve all been there, hon so shutty! I’m loving Julie! She’s planning with the staff of the estate for the arrival of the ladies. I respect all her attention to detail as she prepares for their stay. Also, Annabelle looks fab without makeup. Caprice, not so much… Annabelle shares that she’s worried that Juliet will try and rehash 4th of July gate. She hopes that she doesn’t start any drama because Annabelle used to visit Mapperton and she loves the estate. It’s a serene place for her and plans to enjoy a drama free stay.
Cut to Juliet. She’s in a different car on her way to Mapperton and is talking about how she plans to gift Annabelle with crotchless panties as a peace offering. The ladies have arrived and are meeting Juliet’s father in law. The ass kissing has commenced… It’s not just for Americans, apparently. The estate is nice; just very brown and drab on the inside and over the top manner-y. Caprice and Annabelle have finally arrived. Caprice is of course talking about her pregnancy. What else would she talk about? She thinks that Caroline is giving her the cold shoulder about her not wanting her baby shower at Caroline’s house. I would be upset too if I were Caroline! Annabelle tells them that Caprice is just hormonal and that everything’s fine. Caroline’s basically like, fuck that! You don’t ask for a baby shower then tell the host how and where to have it and I agree. I can’t with this royal or aristocratic bs on this show sometimes. I’ll be a commoner all day, everyday if it means that I don’t have to walk around someone’s grounds of their castle acting like a give a flip about English roses vs all the other roses in the world. Although I will say that queen Sandwich is a very lovely lady. She seems very genuine and not snooty at all. That’s refreshing. I’m still bored though. When’s prince Harry gonna pop up and jump in the pool naked? Oh, he’s not coming? Pffffft!
Oh great, now they’re taking all these hens skeet shooting. Sure, makes sense, not. Why is Caprice being a bitch to Caroline now? Caprice wanted to sit out of skeet shooting because, wait for it… she’s preggers, duh! Caroline also decided not to participate because she doesn’t have to if she doesn’t wanna and Caprice is being a raging bitch about it. Like it’s a big deal.
Apparently skeet shooting is a big deal for the British men folk when it’s shooting season. As opposed to us Texas folk that do it everyday for no reason other than the day ends in y, LOL!
Annabelle’s a great shot, though! See, that’s why I like her so much. I knew I had a reason…
Now it’s time for dinner and champagne on the front lawn. I’m loving the Sandwich clan! They’re serving up venison for dinner. Yum! It’s the leanest and best tasting meat; if processed properly it won’t be gamy. I especially love the back strap. It can be cooked many ways and all of them are delish! Why are the ladies so dressed up for deer meat though? Didn’t Duck Dynasty teach us anything? LOL!
Oh no, Noelle is allergic to shellfish and they are serving shrimp and crab for an appetizer. Yikes, don’t eat it, girl! Stick to the venison… Caprice says in her camera time that everyone should know that when you send in your R.S.V.P. card for a party that you must include your dietary restrictions; so the host knows ahead of time. Oh shut up, Caprice! Noelle’s starving since she wasn’t able to eat anything offered at the Sandwich manse. She walks into the kitchen and asks if they have anything other than shellfish and venison. They don’t; so she asks for vodka. They don’t have that either! How do they not have food in that big ‘ol castle? I have a shit ton because there are a lot of boys in my house and they love to eat; so I shop at Costco like a normal person, hello! Annabelle, Noelle and Juliet step away from the dinner table for a smoke. Caprice gets pissed, right on time… Since when is it not a good time to go have a cig in England? I’m surprised they didn’t just smoke right at the dinner table, to be honest. Juliet is growing on me big time. Actually, I’m over my issue with her. She’s in and Caprice is out. Well, I never liked Caprice, but she’s pretty sometimes, if the light is right.
Lady of Sandwich is excusing herself for the evening because she’s over these bitches, I assume. What’s Noelle wearing, BTW? Caprice is way too dressed up as well. I like Annabelle’s dress though. Oh LOL, it’s the first sit down of Ladies of London. Annabelle and Juliet are finally talking out their beef from the 4th of July party. I love Annabelle; she’s handling herself well during her sit down with Juliet. Annabelle seems tough to crack, but she’s also fair and I like that. Now the ladies are leaving the Sandwich estate. Well, not Caprice and Julie invited Annabelle to stay the night in the very same bedroom that she always stayed at when she visited when she was younger. The gossip has started, of course, now that Caroline, Noelle, Marissa and Juliet are gone. They all went to kick it with Luke, Caroline’s makeup artist. Don’t we love him? Yes, we do; he’s adorable! He offers the ladies champagne to have while they gossip. What an awesome dude he is. They should’ve invited Luke to the Mapperton estate. I would take him everywhere, LOL!
Next week on Ladies of London…
Noelle offers to have a baby shower for Caprice and is let in on the little not so secret that Caroline has already offered to host one for her. Awkward! and Annabelle trains for a charity horse race. See you all then!
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